Sunday, April 18, 2010

Grades 1 - 3

I grew up in the Hills of Beverly ever since I was 5. I went to a public school from 1st grade to 8th grade and then the public High School, so yes in case you didn't know I went to West Beverly. I knew Brandon, Brenda, Luke Perry, Steve, Kelly and, yes, even Andrea (in case you were wondering, that is the cast of the first Beverly Hills 90210). That statement seems a little outdated now, but you would not believe some of the questions I used to get way back when. So let's clear some basic facts, there is a Beverly Hills High School, but it does not have a 90210 area code, there is no such thing as West Beverly Hills High, and finally the cast never came to film episodes.

I digress, sorry.

So first grade not too much happened that I remember other than my teacher was not a nice person. I will never forget the day she threatened to glue a kids butt to the chair because he kept standing. To me now, I fully understand and laugh, but back then it seemed like she was the Balrog of Moria, the fire breathing beast from the depths of hell, from the Lord Of The Rings Movie (which I know, the movie comes out after my first grade teacher, but I never knew a great comparison until now). Only problem we had no Gandolf to deafeat it.

Second grade, I could just skip entirely, except that the first day of class I was talking to a girl and was called out by the teacher. She made me stand up (we were all sitting on the floor in the front of the classroom for, I guess what would be, orientation). She looked right at me and said "stop talking, do you want me to switch you to another classroom?" I said "yes." I do not make that up, she gave me an evil eye and made me sit back down. I guess her curse wound up working because that was the year I got pneumonia and had to miss school for a month, possibly longer. I even think that started an episode of hives at some point. On the plus side, when I wasn't wheezing or nearly, you know, dying, I got to know Bob Barker on "The Price Is Right." Many a day I would be home to watch that. I'm not sure how I passed that year, I guess lucky for me they don't teach too much in second grade that I couldn't handle, or maybe I had a tutor, oh well, who remembers now?

Third grade I had one of the best teachers. She was so old, but one of the sweetest people. All the kids loved her. That was the year that I learned something new. I was legally blind. On a sunny day, all the students went Madeline style down to the nurse's station (Madeline Style - two lines, one side girls and the other side boys, walking in straight parallel lines, also could be called Village Of The Damned Style). Each one of us would go through the dreadful, eyesight test. I was toward the back of the line. One by one my classmates would be finished and compare notes. "20/20" all the children would spritely say (I so wish I could say that (tear)). It was up to me now. I didn't want to fail and actually asked another kid what some of the letters were, cause clearly I couldn't see them, and He told me. With my heart pounding, and shakes of nervousness overcoming me, I started saying the letters that he told me, which would have worked, but I remembered only about half of them. It was pure blurriness all the way. My attempt at remembering the letters, however brave and amazing I was, was not enough to fool the nurse with her checkboard. Whatever happened, this student was not getting a passing grade for this test. I came back to the room where all my classmates were enjoying their break off from class, and with no excitement, I said "I have to talk to my parents." (I do realize that looking back it should not have been so traumatizing, but I did want to fit in so much, and I thought because I was the only one with glasses in the whole class, I would be singled out. Even then I had self esteem issues, which may be normal for that age?!?)

To make my long story short from then on I would have glasses that even Ugly Betty herself would not wear. I had one pair that people still remember, they were oval lenses and a hoop-like ear thing, so they wouldn't come off my face (I used to sleep in all my glasses because I would fall asleep to the TV. The next mornings, though, finding my glasses would be like finding a needle in a blurry haystack). Did I mention, they were also bright RED. Red was my favorite color and I got a few different glasses in that color. New prescription = New glasses. The one thing I will say, it did make my make-believe-I-was-superman time a lot more convincing, although when I threw the glasses off my face I would look like Velma from Scooby-Doo. Hands and arms out searching the carpet, praying I did not hear a crack from beneath my knee. Oh it happened a few times.

Back to third grade, so here I was with my new pair of glasses. I walk in slowly, and go to my desk, waiting to hear something funny about my eyes. Alas, nothing, but there was one girl who did say something. Her name was Madison. (taken from the movie Splash because like Daryl Hannah was extremely tall and had golden hair) She said "Nice Glasses," and gave me a big smile. I smiled back and said "thank you." My nerves went down and my emotional shield faded away. It was the sweetest thing anyone could have told me. At a sigh of relief and happiness, I took a seat at my desk with a smile. We became good friends from then on. (it's a story like that, that I had completely forgotten about until I started writing this blog)

As a side note.....I must say I never knew what the teacher was writing so diligently on the blurry board prior to my newly acquired vision repairers. Unfortunately I found out, HOMEWORK!


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